You’re a Christian business owner. You read somewhere that nearly one-quarter of workers who reported a workplace romance said their affair involved a person who was married at the time (CareerBuilder survey).
In your mind it’s not a question of if but when it will happen in your place of business. You’ve built a Christian culture. You want your company to be a sanctified place. You want your employees to live holy and pure lives. What do you need to do?
First, pray. Second, read the Bible. Third, get your employee manual out.
Before you go to number three, look at your Bible. That’s God’s employee manual right there.
In the Bible, God made sure we know what’s right, we know what’s wrong and we know what’s coming.
Your employee manual could use God’s business writing tips. Does your company manual explicitly state that extra-marital affairs are prohibited?
Most people understand that office extra-marital affairs are bad for business. Illicit affairs are fuels for gossip, backstabbing, low morale, lack of respect for authority, favoritism, low productivity, bad service sexual harassment, and lawsuits.
We Christians understand the spiritual implications of sin. Sexual sin is idolatry. Paul writes in Colossians 3:5 ”, Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry.”
And we know what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, places where sexual sin and idolatry were ripe.
Now let’s get to your employee manual.
How you can protect yourself
Having a document that lists what employees can and cannot do is your best bet to prevent and protect your company from extramarital affairs.
- Include in your company policy or employee manual a clearly defined No Fraternization rule.
- Define which relationships are not tolerated such as prohibiting managers from dating subordinates.
- Outline how employees should behave to reduce public displays of intimacy which make uncomfortable moments for other employees, and possible sexual harassment claims.
- Define the penalties clearly. If the policy is violated, employees should expect demotion, transfer, or termination in that order.
- Encourage open communications with employees to talk about potential romantic relationships.
- Establish a zero-tolerance policy on sexual harassment. Provide training to supervisors, managers, and employees.
- Be sure to explain that, as a business owner, your number one concern is workplace performance and not invading their privacy.
A partial ban on office relationships will not work
We do understand that people fall in love which is a good thing. So why can’t we allow it in our company?
It’s because of our little statistic above that says almost 25 percent of workers who got involved romantically did so with a married person. If you allow singles to have romantic relationships, and then fire employees who have illicit affairs, you are setting yourself up for a marital discrimination lawsuit.
Yes, that’s messed up. But that’s what we have to deal with in our woke culture and litigious society.
When it comes to prohibiting office romance, you have to go all-in or not.
Totally banning office romance has its pitfalls
First and foremost is that it encourages secrecy and lying. People will do anything to protect what is precious to them. They will protect the relationship and they will protect themselves.
This will lead to extra-long lunch and coffee breaks. Even working late nights when it’s not really necessary just to spend time together. Productivity suffers and office resources are wasted.
The rumor mill starts humming from colleagues who notice. Every decision will be viewed suspiciously and with derision especially if one of those involved is in management.
Employee morale starts to suffer until the finger-pointing and the blame game starts.
Help the legit couples be more open
So what you have to do is to encourage single employees who have fallen in love with each other to approach the management. Make sure that is in the manual.
Employees who voluntarily disclose their romantic relationship to the management will have the support they need to transition out of the company. Just one of the involved employees will do.
Six months should be enough time to find a job with another company. Let the person go with full benefits. You can also give them a referral to a business friend if possible.
Get rid of adulterous employees
If after all these a couple of your employees decide to have an illicit affair, you should act quickly according to the rule book. These types of hanky panky are a blatant disregard for company rules even after explicitly stating it in the company manual.
If these people can willingly disobey such major statutes, you can only guess what else they have been doing illicitly or will do in the future.
If they attend church, you should inform their pastor or whoever it is they are spiritually accountable to. Your goal is not to shame or punish them, but to restore them in their faith.
Final thoughts
We live in a fallen world with fallen people. Remember that we are fallen as they are, we just found forgiveness in the Lord Jesus.
We can discipline erring employees according to company rules. But only Jesus can judge them based on His Word. Make sure you stay on one side of the line.
